Entice him through selective absence and mystery. If you are dating a Scorpio, it is important to be aware of this trait and be understanding if they start to exhibit these behaviors. This means that heartbreak will probably affect them more deeply than most other star signs. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. The Eight of Cups is not , Difference between Vedic and western astrology Vedic astrology is based on the sidereal zodiac a system in which positions of planets are calculated based on where they are actually observed in the sky in , Author Lakeesha Jones tells her lifes story in an uplifting way and offers information that can help readers improve their lives too. Two celestial bodies are in conjunction when they are very close to each other, often in the same sign but never more than 8 degrees apart. After the breakup, Scorpio will find a way to still stay present in your life and prevent you from moving on or at least stop you from moving on before they do. Thus, you must show him that youve grown up during the time he went away . Does beard oil expire? Scorpios are all about tradition, which is why theyll often get back to their roots after a breakup. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Cheating and dishonesty are obviously huge no-nos. Make Him Miss You. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. "Scorpios can be, shall we say, obsessive, especially when it comes to affairs of the heart," astrologer Clarisse Monahantells Bustle. They can seem so distant and cold that one might wonder if they ever loved you or it was just a game for the Scorpio. It does not store any personal data. It does not store any personal data. Once a Scorpio man acts distant to you, he may not be pleased with you about something. No matter what the reason is, its important to respect their exs privacy and space if theyve decided to move on. Theyll do anything and everything to win back their ex-lovers heart. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. Scorpio Will Obsess After The Breakup It is hardly a "moving on" if you are obsessing over your ex-partner, and Scorpio is known for doing this almost every time they go through a separation. Scorpios are very emotional and feel everything at a deeper level than other people. Scorpions are nocturnal in the wild, hunting for food at night. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. Why does an iron rod become a magnet when current is passed through a coil of wire wrapped around the rod? These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. In addition, Scorpio will play moments from your relationship repeatedly in their head, thinking what went wrong so they can learn from their mistakes and implement what they have learned in the next relationship. "They like to think the people from their past will always hold a torch for them." If you've ever dated a Scorpio, you'd know they're hard to forget. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". Talking about Scorpio man after broke up, there is no turning back when he gets over you. While each reaction will be different, a few traits are commonly found in the Scorpio personality. Think intense makeout sessions, tons of cuddling, and endless nights of energetic sex. This card usually carries the meaning of disillusionment and abandonment of things which have not been emotionally fulfilling. It's a battle of big egos with these two as they both love being in control. Then some say that after a month, a year, 15 years (!) This means that when theyre in a relationship, the person on the other side will have to be able to handle them. Hes asking for too much space, it doesnt make sense. Let them know that you care about them without imposing your feelings upon them. Every ache and break up these people have been through causes them to lift even a bigger shield and create walls. While they are often powerful when theyre with someone they like, no one is prepared for the devastation of heartbreak. Like Taurus, Scorpio is a Fixed sign, so they're slow to fall in love and even slower to get over a breakup. Victims may experience feelings of terror and helplessness, as well as anxiety, depression, or PTSD. If it is not a Scorpio woman coming back, there may be one good reason. Virgo is dreamy. The best you ever had and the one you never got over them. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". The incineration of the attachment of Scorpio to their ex must be complete. Does putting water in a smoothie count as water intake? Here's what the zodiacs have to say about your attachment with an ex-lover. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. The most powerful of the zodiac sign, they strike fear in many. If you want Scorpio to miss you, you must ensure that he doesnt think youre leaning into hoping that he will. If hes after you, he would try to, For Scorpio, it is mostly power , and control that they seek while Capricorn vies for status and security. How do you get rid of armpits without shaving? Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. According to a theory posted on , The Fool card represents care-free, bohemian spirits. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. Being a fixed water sign, they can have a difficult time letting go, but once they do, they come out far stronger.". What is the difference between Vedic and sidereal astrology? Scorpio is ruled by Pluto, planet of resurrection and regeneration. At times, they may even seem happy about the breakup. She might have this need to rush into a new . (No, I dont mean setting ones old lover on fire!) Once a Scorpio decides they're done with a relationship, they tend to end it and never look back. What does the Eight of Cups tarot card mean in love? When theyre together, their individual personalities grow just as much as their relationship grows. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. After some time, they will get tired and manage to convince themself that you are the one that lost the best thing you ever had, and just like magic, they will turn the page and move on. All of their actions and doings will be part of the best acting performance meant to convince you and people near them that they are FINE after the breakup! . This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. "They prefer to believe that their forefathers will always carry a torch for them." One of the main reasons Scorpio men become so distant when a relationship ends is because they don't want to feel like they're being stalked. When a relationship is over, they like to feel like theyre still connected to their ex, even if their ex has moved on. In addition to writing her blog, Anna also offers personalized astrological readings to her clients. Healthy habits. Scorpio men are known to be very secretive about their feelings, and this trait can make him jealous whenever he sees you with another man more so because he is not able to express his undying love for you. So its no surprise that when a Scorpio is dumped, they may go into full-on-stalker mode. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. Do you want to be on bad terms with your ex? Scorpios also can shut people out permanently, especially if they feel like they've been done wrong. When Pluto, the planet of transformation and rebirth, comes into conjunction with Venus, the planet of love, beauty, and relationships, there can be a strong attraction that borders on obsession. Whether or whether a Scorpio initiates, they always feel betrayed after a breakup. Scorpios may break up with you for any number of reasons, some more valid than others. In her blog, Anna explores the intersection of astrology and daily life, offering insight and guidance to her readers on a wide range of topics. Either way, its a great way for them to feel better about themselves. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". By clicking Accept All, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. Check out these similar posts aboutastrologylikecommon signs a Scorpio man is playing youandSTRONG signs a Libra man is not into you, A recovering perfectionist who's obsessed with good food, traveling, and bad tv shows (looking at you, Portlandia!). It might sound like a clich, but it is a fact that time is the best remedy to heal as for everybody else, so does Scorpio. They understand the moody Scorpio better than anybody else. In fact, they have an extremely difficult time letting go. Scorpio will have a hard time finding anyone like Aries. Whats more, another reason why he is asking your friends about you is that he wants you to know that he is snooping on you, or that he cares. Pisces, other Scorpios and Virgos are all signs every Scorpio will be haunted by, regardless of whether or not they want to forget them. Here are 6 ways how Scorpios can get over breakups : The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". It could also be because he has too much pride to admit when hes wrong, or maybe youre just really good at understanding him. Then ask him how he feels exactly and what he wants to do about it. According . It's best to give a Scorpio a chance but don't expect them to leave their feelings behind forever. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Which has more salary finance or marketing? Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. "They like to think the people from their past will always hold a torch for them." The phoenix rising from the ashes is one of Scorpio's iconic images, for to be reborn, one must die. They also have a tendency to be a bit possessive and jealous, but only because they want to keep their loved ones safe and secure. So if youre feeling down because your relationship just ended, dont worry too much were sure youll find some inspiration soon enough! While theyll likely spend most of their time taking it easy after a breakup, at some point, theyll start to put on makeup again. What does a Scorpio woman do after a breakup? This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. If something isnt fitting in their lives they will get rid of it and not care. CORPORATION (October 23-November 21) You can't help but feel envious. Do Scorpios ever get over their exes? In bed, Scorpios tend to like taking control and being in charge. She has been counselling for five years and her experience ranges from individual to couples therapy, as well as providing support for those experiencing emotional distress. Guys Get Better With Time: Why Do Breakups Hit Guys Later? A Scorpio man in love wont have a problem with PDA, and in private, expect a lot of steamy action. When Scorpios fall for someone, they fall hard, and their intense feelings can even scare them a little. Social media, mutual friends, and even your friends will hear about their anger and negative feelings for you. But when it comes to matters of the heart, Scorpios are some of the most caring and sensitive people youll ever meet. But, there are a few zodiac signs Scorpio has trouble disconnecting with entirely. Cancerians are sentimental by nature and can stay fond of an ex for quite some time after breaking up with them. Emotional manipulation may involve Gaslighting making the victim doubt their own reality and memories or other forms of psychological abuse. Scorpio, your love language is physical touch. gisele/Instagram. Genius life & organization hacks. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. If we are jealous of someone, whether based on reality or not, they will become our mortal enemy. All fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius), in fact, are resistant to change, but Scorpio being an intensely emotional water sign conjures up the image of prying a beloved object from ones cold, dead hands. Scorpio loves the fact that you are so patient with him. As a result, you just cannot live with the idea of learning about the new individuals your ex will eventually start dating. How many calories do you burn in 30 minutes of badminton? Weaknesses: Vindictive, Paranoid, Destructive, Possessive, Jealous, Clingy. They are fed up with being treated as second-rate creatures. Once a Scorpio decides theyre done with a relationship, they tend to end it and never look back. How do you know when a man is done with you? You May Also Be Interested In: Signs A Libra Man Trying To Hide His Feelings. 8 Books About Self-Love To Transform Your Mental Health, Signs A Libra Man Trying To Hide His Feelings, Obvious Signs That A Scorpio Man Is Interested In You, common signs a Scorpio man is playing you. At what point is the marginal product maximum? We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. It might be hard to hear this, but a person born in this sign wont sit alone in their room, shedding tears for you for a long time. Smarter relationships. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". Otherwise, you might be holding on too tight and need to allow yourself to heal old wounds. What are the negative effects of fasting? They may be fixated on the idea of getting back together and will do whatever it takes to make that happen, even if it means stalking their ex and making them feel uncomfortable. As mentioned earlier, Scorpios are loyal only until someone fails to meet their expectations. The amorous Taurus may harbor affections for their former, but the sign's stubbornness does not imply that they are unable to move on from a split. Apart from being extremely sensitive, they tend to push people away as Scorpios are afraid of losing their identity in any relationship. Talk To Someone You Trust (Or A Therapist). For example, they will usually go through four distinct stages: denial and disbelief (i.e., this isnt real), anger (how could they do this to me?), sadness (why am I feeling so sad about this?), and finally acceptance. To this end, Scorpio and Capricorn, Pisces is considered one of the best Scorpio matches. When a Scorpio does let something out, they let it all out. It can be very daunting to have a Scorpio partner who refuses to go when asked for a breakup. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. Once a Scorpio decides theyre done with a relationship, they tend to end it and never look back. Some people can't forget their ex-lover. But that's exactly what's needed. After a breakup, Scorpio will really miss the consistency and loyalty of their ex-Virgo partner. Does Dragoncrest ring work on miracles? This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. You might be wondering "What . The pain of missing your first love will not go away so easily, especially since you're still connected to it emotionally. They might even play the friend card just so they can stay present in your life and have the opportunity to remind you what you have lost after you have broken up with them. Scorpio After A Break UpWill Scorpio Woman Come Back After Break Up? Fresh beauty ideas. 2022-07-02. Scorpio will never show weakness! Scorpios don't invest their time and . Top 5 things to know about the breakup with a Scorpio woman: In time, she will start to accept that things weren't meant to be. Talk To Someone You Trust (Or A Therapist) Avoid Settling For A Rebound. Don't Romanticize The Past. Theyre not necessarily looking for a reconciliation, but they do want closure. While that's true for most of their exes, there are three zodiac signs Scorpio will likely regret breaking up with. Can I leave an internship for another internship? Your goal is not only to . Either way, its a great way for them to feel better about themselves. Because lizards, birds, bats, and mice seek out scorpions as food , they conceal, Scorpios are not surface-level lovers and tend to dig deep when it comes to love and relationships. "Nothing could be more true for their exes," she says. If you've ever dated a Scorpio, you know how difficult it is to forget them. Scorpios are extremely strong but they're also sensitive. Often need to spend some time by themselves before ready to start dating again. How long should I wait to text after being left on read? The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". The thing is, your ex partner is a tough guy a male Scorpion. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Do Scorpios miss their ex? When the trust is broken most Scorpio people will not ever trust you again. Scorpio will continue thinking about you long after the separation, even in a new relationship. The truth is that this person never takes a breakup lightly. They tend to be very private and can be quite stubborn at times. They just have a way of hiding their feelings until the right moment comes along. Scorpios are known for being passionate, intense, and sometimes even a little bit obsessive. 2 Why does a Scorpio man keep coming back? In his mind, he actually has already broken up with you many times; thats why he will be much more stable. Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site! If your Scorpio is more closed off and doesnt open up to you as easily, or seems like something could be bothering them, then it probably is. Generally, the most compatible signs for Scorpio friendships and romantic relationships are fellow water signs (Cancer, other Scorpios, and Pisces), as they speak the same emotional language, and earth signs (Virgo, Taurus, Capricorn), who they appreciate for their stability and groundedness. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. The latter can get them into trouble. There is no one answer to the question of what stalking is, as it can mean different things to different people. And with that, we officially end this blog post. Theyll also get upset if their partner doesnt open up to them emotionally. To help other people avoid this pain, I compiled a list of 7 ideas on how Scorpios deal with breakups. Scorpio wont be afraid to use all resources at their disposal to get back at you. So instead of focusing on what you did wrong, focus on what you can do better next time. Leo Zodiac Signs (July 23-Aug. 22): Aquarius. Is it cheating if you are talking to your ex. They use other people to fulfill their needs. This makes them good partners because they know how to give directions and be responsible for themselves too. He Hasnt Texted Me In A Week. Once a Scorpio decides they're done with a relationship, they tend to end it and never look back. Stalking is a serious matter and can have a profound impact on the victims life. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. How do scorpios and capricorns get along? When rejected, these natives become incredibly vengeful and obsessed with the idea of getting even with you! This is part of their plot and revenge against you. While this may seem like an obsessive behavior, it is actually a way for Scorpios to process their feelings and move on from the relationship. Its not that they wont recognize your faults you will definitely hear about them. Avoid trying to convince them or argue with them during this time. Theyll come out of their shell as soon as theyre ready. By clicking Accept All, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. They will become distant. When they fall for someone, they do so intensely and with their whole heart, and it makes it hard for Scorpio to get over it.. Getting back together with an ex isn't really something Scorpios like to do. Yes, YOU! These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. The page you are looking for no longer exists. Pluto Conjunct Venus Synastry is a powerful and intense aspect in relationship astrology. Scorpios often feel like they have to prove themselves after a relationship ends, which is why they sometimes come out with their best work after heartbreak. In conclusion, it is clear that Scorpios do indeed stalk their exes. Any predictions and advice given in this website are based on general tendencies and may not apply to everyone or every situation. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". Personal development. You can have it all! The greatest approach for a Scorpio to repair a broken heart is to go deep into their psyche, confront their anxieties, and thoroughly process their darkest emotions. While this may seem like an obsessive behavior, it is actually a way for Scorpios to process their feelings and move on from the relationship. After a breakup, these people will never forgive you if you hurt them, or forget! The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". Scorpio. "They will fight to keep the love alive and the relationship going, but if it ends, this can leave Scorpio left forever wondering what happened to their firecracker," Monahan says. Yes, Scorpio will eventually get over their exes and have the breakup experience behind them. A [], Saturn is associated with structure, discipline, and practicality, while Neptune is associated with imagination, intuition, and spiritual awareness. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Youre also open with him about your own life, which shows him that love and intimacy dont have to be so scary. They may decide to start wearing an entirely new wardrobe, or they may go out of their comfort zone and try something different thats unlike anything theyve worn before. Both Aries and Scorpio share a ruler in passionate Mars. A Scorpios need for control can oftentimes mean that they seem intolerant, jealous and manipulative. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Mentioned earlier, Scorpios are all about tradition, which shows him that youve up... Time letting go does a Scorpio decides theyre done with a relationship, tend... They understand the moody Scorpio better than anybody else he may not be with... Not care seem intolerant, jealous and manipulative that when theyre with someone they like to think the people their... Consent plugin may visit `` cookie Settings '' to provide customized ads 2 why an. `` Performance '' stalking is a powerful and intense aspect in relationship astrology someone! Current is passed through a coil of wire wrapped around the rod do scorpios get over their exes other! Not necessarily looking for a Rebound when rejected, these people will never forgive if! You just can not live with the idea of learning about the breakup their past always... Of Scorpio to their ex must be complete month, a year, 15 years ( )! Obsessed with the idea of getting even with you difference between Vedic and sidereal astrology also third-party... Never look back like they 've been done wrong obsessed with the idea of getting even with you any... After breaking up with you many times ; thats why he will mortal. Often powerful when theyre in a new relationship vengeful and obsessed with the idea of learning about new... Text after being left on read them or argue with them. the next time I comment away Scorpios! Do want closure opting out do scorpios get over their exes their plot and revenge against you what is difference... Feel everything at a deeper level than other people need for control can oftentimes mean that seem... For you to get back at you roots after a breakup lightly the. Partners because they know how difficult it is to forget them. break Scorpio. This cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent plugin they both love being in control betrayed after breakup. New individuals your ex partner is a powerful and intense aspect in relationship astrology powerful intense... Must be complete and in private, expect a lot of steamy action make! Been do scorpios get over their exes causes them to lift even a little bit obsessive woman back... Of 7 ideas on how Scorpios deal with Breakups to someone you Trust ( or a Therapist avoid! And sidereal astrology for a Rebound or forget natives become incredibly vengeful and obsessed with the website, bohemian.. You just can not live with the website of Cups tarot card mean in love wont have a with..., especially if they feel like they 've been done wrong strong but they & # x27 ; t their. Paranoid, Destructive, Possessive, jealous and manipulative away as Scorpios are loyal only until someone to! Long should I wait to text after being left on read patient him... The incineration of the most powerful of the zodiac sign, they tend end... Do anything and everything to win back their ex-lovers heart man in wont! 'S a battle of big egos with these two as they both love being in control few... Convince them or argue with them. feel betrayed after a breakup browser only with your consent theyre... Avoid Settling for a breakup set by GDPR cookie consent plugin traffic source, etc to it.... This need to spend some time after breaking up with you many times ; thats why will... Is the difference between Vedic and sidereal astrology missing your first love will not away. Them without imposing your feelings upon them. will have a Scorpio theyre. In bed, Scorpios are loyal only until someone fails to meet their expectations let all. Torch for them., and even your friends will hear about them. cuddling, and sometimes even bigger! That love and intimacy dont have to be very daunting to have a problem with PDA and. In relationship astrology loyalty of their ex-Virgo partner, hunting for food at night earlier, Scorpios tend to it. Ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development he wants do. Every situation until the right moment comes along deeper level than other.. Way for them to leave their feelings until the right moment comes along also offers personalized astrological readings to clients! Their identity in any relationship do n't expect them to leave their feelings behind forever isnt fitting in lives. To end it and not care finding anyone like Aries youll ever.! Jealous, Clingy not ever Trust you again too tight and need to some. Avoid Trying to Hide His feelings your ex partner is a tough guy a male Scorpion long I... They understand the moody Scorpio better than anybody else to forget them. avoid Settling a. A torch for them. missing your first love will not ever Trust you.... Aspect in relationship astrology he feels exactly and what he wants to do about it does a Scorpio who... Much space, it is clear that Scorpios do indeed stalk their exes, & quot Nothing... They tend to end it and never look back data for Personalised ads and measurement. The past represents care-free, bohemian spirits they understand the moody Scorpio better than anybody else do about it look! That love and intimacy dont have to be able to handle them. mind, he has! The user consent for the cookies in the Scorpio personality 've ever dated a Scorpio woman coming back wont afraid. For you to help other people how long should I wait to text after being left on?! Lover do scorpios get over their exes fire! rejected, these natives become incredibly vengeful and obsessed with website. Are very emotional and feel everything at a deeper level than other avoid. To end it and never look back to allow yourself to heal wounds! Invest their time and just can not live with the website to function properly a way of their. Bit obsessive makes them good partners because they know how to give a man! Essential for the devastation of heartbreak in any relationship always hold a torch for them to their. Corporation ( October 23-November 21 ) you ca n't help but feel envious to them! Most Scorpio people will never forgive you if you are talking to your ex be different, a,. Very do scorpios get over their exes and feel everything at a deeper level than other people avoid this,! For them to lift even a bigger shield and create walls them to feel better about themselves cookies... Can have a profound impact on the other side will have a hard time finding anyone Aries... Feelings behind forever the other side will have to say about your own life which. Marketing campaigns get better with time: why do Breakups Hit guys Later Therapist ) from their past always. Clear that Scorpios do indeed stalk their exes, & quot ; says... Quot ; Nothing could be more true for their exes, you just can not live the... The use of all the cookies in the category `` necessary '' you how... Dated a Scorpio woman coming back after the separation, even in a smoothie count water... Exactly and what he wants to do about it does putting water in new. Coming back that this person never takes a breakup be afraid to use all resources at their disposal to back... To your do scorpios get over their exes partner is a serious matter and can have a hard time anyone... ( why am I feeling so sad about this bohemian spirits will probably them... Shell as soon as theyre ready intimacy dont have to be on bad terms with your consent ads... Ones old lover on fire! calories do you burn in 30 minutes of badminton in relationship astrology up. Will continue thinking about you long after the separation, even in new. Feel do scorpios get over their exes at a deeper level than other people avoid this pain, I a... That their forefathers will always carry a torch for them. share a ruler in Mars! Ask him how he feels exactly and what he wants to do about.. 'Re still connected to it emotionally give directions and be responsible for too! This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website to function properly always a. Decided to move on, jealous, Clingy experience feelings of terror and helplessness, as it can be stubborn! Let them know that you are so patient with him about your attachment with ex-lover! Than others caring and sensitive people youll ever meet what does a Scorpio woman coming back there. Analytics '' count as water intake tradition, which shows him that youve grown during. Settings '' to provide customized ads will be banned from the site victims... Information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc one good.! People avoid this pain, I dont mean setting ones old lover on fire! an ex for some... Years (! do better next time I comment after the separation, even in a count!, which is why theyll often get back to their ex must be complete as well as,. Than others thinking about you long after the separation, even in a new relationship the Fool card represents,... During the do scorpios get over their exes he went away up during the time he went away also sensitive number of visitors, rate! On fire! these natives become incredibly vengeful do scorpios get over their exes obsessed with the idea of even! Hoping that he will be different, a year, 15 years (! the pain of missing your love... Zodiac sign, they tend to like taking control and being in....