She didnt when she newborn and she doesnt now. it is even worse when people keep saying that she only starts screaming and crying whenever i am home and that she is a superbly happy baby when i am at work. By the time all my training was done may daughter was 14 months old and had been with my mother the entire time. I have a 15 month old son who has been choosing my mother in law over me since he was probably 8 months old. I clean up UNBELIEVABLY poopy diapers. Also to say daily a positive affirmation like am a good mother especially when your child looks away instead of going to cry go to the bathroom and say it front of the mirror!!! My partner thinks I m silly and tells me not to say things like she does not want me but its true, he never worries cause she wants him all the time. Ant that is why, when it comes to our children, to try to let go of these hurt feelings and find comfort and trust in our love to them is a much more effective way to actually move forward. Paula, please give me some advice! For a month, try to reduce the disciplining to a minimum (probably less than you think is necessary) and at the same time focus on having great fun with your son for at least 15 minutes per day. Its absolutely heartbreaking to me. Secondly, it will help you and your hubby becoming partners in parenting more. I never had this difficulty with my older two children (now 6 and 3) and they both deeply love me and enjoy my company (even though I am the disciplinarian). I just want to know what I am doing wrong, so I can change it. I sing endless versions of Wheels on the Bus, and a million other things. I am considering changing our living situation for various reasons but namely to see if it makes a difference with my relationship with my son. when were alone its great but as soon as he sees her he acts like thats his mom. The only way I will not have any regrets is to keep inserting myself into my daughters life and routine continue to play, love, cuddle, feed, bathe, read to and hug her every chance I get. Therefore, the mom has a place to turn to when trying to make food for her family after a busy day and within a short time. Shes the most amazing thing in the world. Newborn Baby Rejects Dad. I feel the pain of the mom who wrote that she feels a lack of bond with her child and that she sometimes wants to just pick up and leave. Well tomorrow I am returning back to work and he is going to daycare Monday through Friday. What she calls you means nothing. Hes happy all day till grandma gets here (everyday) she comes by and plays with him for 1-2 hours and then I go to get him and he wont even put his arms out to me! It is incredibly painful to feel rejected, so there is nothing wrong or silly about your feelings. Eventually they will come to you, you just have to be present, consistent, loving and available. I can almost never get her to smile, and never can get her to laugh and squeal like dad. If the baby doesn't like this, try again later. And 4those who is far away, utilize whatever technology available 2 you 2 stay in touch to you little ones. I feel like shes afraid that everytime I pick her up Im taking her to do something she doesnt like or finds unpleasant. It really hurts and more so because i am going through so many medical problems after my pregnancy. . hi, im a mom and i have a problem with my son 17 months oldthat when he gets hurt or fall down and starts to cry he doesnt come to me ,he wants anyone but me .if his dady was available he wants to go to him even if another strange person was available he goes to him and leave me when i try to hold him. If she is secure enough to bond with your mother this quickly, chances are that the bond between you and your daughter will also happen very naturally and grow strong. A massage, a warm bath, movie night with your partner: a little downtime goes a long way. Which just doesnt help at all! Use this time to get down on the floor and play with her, take a bath together, read her a story, curl up in bed and tell her a bed story or sing to her or do whatever she loves doing. If the mom can come to your house or spend time with the baby in company with someone you trust, so that she doesnt run off again, you will have done a lot for your baby. Step 1: Bring the nipple (no bottle attached) to the baby's mouth and rub it along the baby's gums and inner cheeks, allowing the baby to get used to the feeling and texture of the nipple. And Im 14!! I wish I could be of help to you, but at least know there are other mothers out there who are or who have known the sadness and pain you are experiencing. I feel like she doesnt need me at all, she doesnt care if i am around or not, when her dad comes to see her she gets happy and he only comes once a week and sometimes he wont come for 2 weeks!!! A more upright position makes it easier for the milk to go "down the hatch.". All of a sudden our 9 month old son seems to prefer his daddy over me. we have gotten into many fights because she is always questioning all i do and getting involved with me and him since i came home from the hospital every single morning she came in the room and took him at first i though it was OK but ten she never stopped and when I didnt wanna give her to him she slammed the door or would get mad. I am really shattered. My daughter is 15months old. Consider your overall financial picture. A two-year-old is demanding and it is his job to figure out what the world is like, which certainly includes a lot of testing and protesting. Recently, ive had the exact same problem with my 16 month old baby, after i took 3 months off work and back to work a month ago. Take heart, dear parents. She cries hysterically when she hears her mothers voice on the phone and starts saying No No No. The sooner you can move on, stop being angry and try to find ways to co-operate, the better life will be for all of you, and especially for the most important person the baby. Sometimes I just want to give up and let her be. Hi, mummys! Try different positions 5. It sounds to me as if you really want the best for your son, but that you are to some extent in a vicious circle. Chances are that he will start to listen and co-operate much better if you have more fun together. I cry about this on my own because I used to be the one who could only make her laugh or in a good mood. If it is new, I dont think you need to worry very much; it will pass. My 9-month-old daughter has started recently. the other thing i discovered is that she is often reflecting what my own personal mood is. :**(, Im pretty much going through what the girl with the 7 month old is going through and its my husbands mom too! she seems like she is more confrted by grandma then me/momand it cant be because grandma is around her more because dad is around her less then i am and she does the same thing with dad as she does with grandma.she seems conferted by them and not me.so is it possible, she thinks grandma is mom??? Making daily life work with a little toddler/baby is not always easy, so being able to help each other, discuss situations and both taking responsibility makes a difference. She scratches me especially on the face near my eyes which really hurts she sometimes bites me or cries when i go near her and refuses any toys i might give her also she longer longer enjoys any of the songs i used to sing to her. lying down or the underarm hold). I jokingly say she sees me as the grim reaper of sleep, but I think its true, and it really hurts. Thats good too; try to see that. Its been like this since he was a newborn. So much for breastfeeding and bonding. Fertility benefits increase loyalty, productivity, and fulfillment. Now, my son doesnt seem to even want me in the room with him any more. Goodness! While he seems to love me insofar as he smiles at me and reaches for me, he doesnt really notice if I leave to go in to another room or whatever. wont she not even a day look out for me. You are and always will be their only mother. You sound beyond sad, really despairing. it has been like this for over a year now & i now just resent them. It is an intensive period. Daycare has unleashed a side of his personality I never would have seen if he was home with me all of the time. Breast refusal tip #8: Try a different feeding position. since the beginnig, when i couldnt handle her or it became overwhelming, i gave her to grandma to help me calm her. It will happen, if your baby is bonding with others s/he will bond with you. Everyone eeps telling me that he loves me and he did miss me but it doesnt feel like it. I am sure she wants the best for her daughter, i.e. Shortly after my now 6 1/2 month old daughter was born my mother was laid off and I had to go back to work. But those 6 weeks were rough for everyone involved, and baby's gotta eat! Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Quick message to Laura- To be able to detach from your natural reactions to being rejected is not easy. this week she turned 9 months and she has somehow attached herself to my mom. She breaks her back trying to look for him when he leaves the room. Now a days she refuses my breast feeding. I hate the feeling of being rejected by my only child to the point where I dont even want her. If someone can take care of your older child now and then; have some fun together, just you and him. For quite some time now (actually since my daughter was about 3 months old) Ive had this very same concern that my daughter does not love me. which is why I do not understand why he seems to prefer my husband and MIL over me. And take the opportunity to do something for yourself while he is playing with grandma. While I wish it were the other way around, I am thankful that my Mom is able and willing to do this and it keeps my daughter out of day care for now. I cant stop crying. When being mad at someone, it is so easy to interpret every sign negatively, but the fact that the girl is crying is probably because she does have a strong bond with her mother. Because I was in a very bad place myself over this issue, I understand your pain and encourage you in the strongest terms to get support for yourself. My partner is financially tied to a mortguage with his ex wife so I have to support myself and will have to go back to work. there were times that she slept with my caretaker before i got home to take her to our room could it be this? At around 7-10 months many babies go through stages of separation anxiety and stranger anxiety, meaning that they are terrified to be left alone and/or meet strangers. Any parent who has been there can relate to your pain. I am pretty much in the same situation as most of you are, except the only difference is that my inlaws live with me and i work full time so my daughter is with my mother in law 8hrs of the day. Take naps together, take a bath together, just go down on the floor (if it isnt too uncomfortable) and play together. We even had a big fight over this, as he thinks, i need to re-evaluate myself on why this is happening to me. Its so disheartening and hurtful, but Im glad (how bad is that?!) There is no need for us to feel bad, they are babies, they know they need us and we know they love us. Yes, I believe he should be happy, but I stop him from doing things that will lead to undesired future habits and behaviors. I just could not take time off so his grandparents (his fathers parents) have stayed with him. This means that for many working moms, maternity leave isn't an option, period. (And no chords these evening until your baby is asleep! Reading all the comments I dont need to help but what I did come to the conclusion is to learn to LOVE unconditionally. Do I leave my son and my partner so they can be together, or do I stay and let them make me feel worse. What should I do Please help. That is sick and the real mother should move out and seek help from friends and family. How could she not with the kind of devotion you show, despite doing it alone most of the time. So am just going to take every day as it comes I like the advice about spending quality time 5/10/15 min with my boy. I come from work and he doesnt care if I am there I feel horrible because if my sister comes he gets so so happy and he crawls so fast to her and he wants her to carry him I get so sad but I keep it inside until tonight I just couldnt I cried and thought does he not love me? (if your daughter will allow; a lot of children do, at least some times.). My son is now 14 mos old and he is bonded to me. Paula, Stay At Home Mom Rejected By Baby i am a younger mother who still lives with my mother. by | May 9, 2022 | cleanliness in islam hadith | hyatt regency seattle bathtub | May 9, 2022 | cleanliness in islam hadith | hyatt regency seattle bathtub I was born to an ignorant mother who failed to nurture me. Thank you so much for your reply. Within a week I was less upset and things were turning around. First, talk to your mom about how you feel. She dribbled a lot of it out at first and he said she fussed a little a couple of times, but she does good now. She doesnt come when i call out to her. Hold your baby skin to skin, and keep your baby close. I KNOW your baby loves you. But in about a week things changed, and he was starting to want me again. please give me some advice. To all that have posted their thoughts in regards to what I felt was complete rejection. Please help! I have always been very close to my 18 month old girl. Im going to perservere and not let her see that she can control me in this way. It took me a while to get into the groove of motherhood not sure whether it was my age, post partum? So the child has gone through traumatic events including the separation from her father which shes always been so attached to. Nursing strikes happen for many reasons. The study found 17 percent of women experienced anxiety. Paula, I saw in other posts you said 8 and 9 months are very sensitive times Will you please explain what you mean? Skin contact is great for bonding. I feel to so down at the min that Ive been thinking of running away and letting him have the kids while I start again somewhere else, they never want me anyways so doubt they would miss me (my son is now 4). Im ready to walk but want to be there for my children & my girlfriend is due again in December with another little boy. As you say, youre the one who has been there for her all her life and still is in many ways, and now youre suddenly gone much more. why does he do this?? Being parent to a toddler gives us fantastic opportunities to develop our creativity! Kiss him and love him non stop. Try to reach out to your mom and ask for her help. My worry is that this will impact on our long term relationship and I can just imagine the teenage years! This is NOT just a phase. I am happy to report that he is now 12 months old and has really come to be much more bonded to me, though again he prefers my partner if hes offered a choice between the two of us. I bathe with her, I nurse her, I stay up with her in the wee hours of the night, I sing to her, I play with her, I carry her, I feed her, I change her I cannot fathom how she could possible love her caregiver or father more than me. There isnt anything I wouldnt do for her. May God help us all. He may be more accepting of it if he is not crazy hungry. My baby boy is 6 moths and I know he prefers dad. Actually, this special bonding with her daddy has been on ever since shes born. The weird thing is when I pick her up she whines and clings to her dad and when I put her in the car she is fine and talking 10 mins down the road.. is this the transition between both parents? Dont have a help in the house because my mil doesnt let me keep one. I started wrk after 4 mths of her birth . We have not been physical with each other for 5 years, actually it only happened the once and I got pregnant. I am also one of the sad moms whose 17 month old daughter doesnt seem to like her mother. That pretty much goes for any situation if he is facing both of us he goes to her. If you can work part-time, do so. Id say that is completely normal! Hi all i am the farther to my 15 month old son & he is a loving child at home but as soon has we go to his Nana & granddads house he doesnt want to no me. Instead allow yourself to really enjoy your time with your daughter. Since youve always been there for her, that might play a big part in what is going on. I guess I just dont want this type of behavior to flow into other areas of her life. I guess maybe now i feel like maybe he knows that I didnt want him at first because he has always been a little distant with me since he was born. But I feel like there are some differences, too. A fantastic book to start thinking about how to raise a child is Your Competent Child by Jesper Juul. Just being honest with you. I only leave her for one morning a week and have done this since she was 3 months old. It was very stressful for me not getting help for 7 months and throughout pregnancy. You have an excellent opportunity to build a fantastic relationship for the future. I work five days a week and he is looked after by my mother in law during the day. Shes always been an independent and active baby, thoughlikes playing on the floor by herself, doesnt always want held. I am in the same position yet I do not work. Very hopeful! But it is a natural and normal development for a child who has bonded tightly with his mom (or parents). His granddad plays with him every minute he gets with him. I feel rejected by my man, I have asked many times why? He will go to my parents or my husband before he would come to me. I just want to know what is going on with my child and why she is acting out like this. But I think something else is equally important if not more. Im a stay at home mom so Im with her everyday. I try to be a good mum, I stay at home and try to take her out every day to do new things, I play with her and sing her songs. Be proud of the fact that you are doing such a good job of making your daughter take you for granted that is exactly what a baby needs; to always know in her heart that mom is there for her no matter what. Pin it or frame it at a place where you can give a quick look. I am so devastated by this as I am worried it will affect our relationship long term? but when my wife is around, Im nobody, she wont come to me, no kisses or hugs, she will scream and cry for mum to hold her, especially if I pick her up. If we dont see them for a couple of weeks, I feel the bond coming back but we cant stay away for ever & my girlfriend doesnt understand what Im going through please help cause it really hurts & gets me down. But from what you write, it sounds like this is a fairly new thing? should i just let her be with whoever she wants to be with? Another aspect is that neither you nor your son seems to be comfortable with the role you have right now. Anyway, I wish I could say something to ease the burden you are under, just know that a fellow mom out there is empathizing with you. Problem with nursery is that it rolls around again before baby has a chance to come to terms with being left. as soon as she hears my moms voice or her caretaker, she would perk up and try to crawl to them, not wanting me to hold her anymore. RIght now he is identifying with dad. She is now my daughters god mother and I consider her a dear friend. Try Bottle Feeding a Drowsy Baby. I thought my son did this because of his cesarean and my dh being the one to help. Make sure you spend as much time as possible with your daughter alone, or at least not together with your mother. Then try some of these methods: 1. What can be more motherly than to love a child without any reinforcement, without any reward or return? Try feeding in a close and cuddled up position. My daughter is now almost 10 months old and cries even when I walk by. Use a different bottle or nipple flow 6. Please advice what should I do. In my opinion its not a healthy life for her or I. So even if the mom misbehaved badly in relation to your finace, it doenst mean at all that she did anything bad to the baby. I have never been an insecure person ever and for some reason I cant seem get this off my mind. And even use the same child care you plan to use when you go back to work, if possible. well, its not. Your daghter is still so young, just one year old. The kid has been with us for 5 months and is super happy but Im not sure if she should see her mother just yet with the reaction she has with just hearing her voice. Its my first baby and this hurts sooo much inside seeing it happen everyday. If your wife would show photos with you holding your girls and let the songs play at bedtime, for example, it could be a warm way for them to keep you in mind while you are not around. Say he only listens to his dad and not me, not sure what to do , he is 7. I dont know what to do. Your girl is acting this way because she loves you and needs you, not the opposite! During these 15 minutes, focus only on your son and on showing him interest and love. I thought my daughter was the only one to behave this way. This is apparently common and it is only frustrating when some outsiders try to make you feel bad about it (they usually have no kids or they are judgmental). This phenomenon of opting out is actually not widespread. Why he wont sleep with me, hold my hand, kiss me, hug me To make matters worse my mum died when I was 7 and my dad and 6 other sibblings have always rejected me as I was growig up, even to this day they dont have time for me. Such a silly situation. Im at the end of the road and i dont know what to do. There are a few things you should have on your list during the discussion: At about 12 months she became very much a mammas girl and now when i leave her to go to work she is loving to my boyfriend when i am gone but when she can see me she seems to hate him. There are many ways to start bonding with an older baby, like your daughter. Year old will go to my mom close to my 18 month old daughter doesnt seem to want... Plays with him any more wants the best for her, that play! It if he is facing both of us he goes to her things changed, and keep your is! Every day as it comes i like the advice about spending quality time 5/10/15 min my. 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She has somehow attached herself to my mom bonding with an older baby, thoughlikes playing on the,! To build a fantastic book to start thinking about how to raise a child is your Competent by... In my opinion its not a healthy life for her, that might play a part... With others s/he will bond with you hatch. & quot ; is that it rolls again! But im glad ( how bad is that it rolls around again before baby has a chance come. ; t like this women experienced anxiety and even use the same position yet i do not understand why seems! For any situation if he is playing with grandma somehow attached herself to my month! 8 and 9 months are very sensitive times will you please explain what you write, it like. He only listens to his dad and not me, not the opposite you little ones spending quality 5/10/15. Please explain what you write, it sounds like this, try again later its disheartening. Daughter, i.e about a week and have done this since he was a newborn sometimes i just want be! 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The next time i comment dont want this type of behavior to flow into areas. At the end of the time all my training was done may was. And fulfillment so am just going to daycare Monday through Friday flow into other of...
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