A few hours later, I texted him and said I had a good time and was looking forward to seeing him again soon. It will be the best, most satisfying feeling in the world if you can somehow find the strength to say, Thanks, but no thanks. Well, its impossible to know why. I have done it, too. i am currently suffering the vanishing act this guy has been pulling on me for a while now. A person reaching out to me, and I feel like I cant answer them. Ill get responses to texts usually but a few minutes in and I might not get a response later. I wasnt too worried because he told me his little brother was coming to stay with him for Thanksgiving from Tues-Sun, so I figured he was preoccupied. so a week went by he didnt contact I contacted him he said he didnt know, blah, blah then a week after he said he didnt want to see anyone for now. I remained calm and neutral and respectful as I wanted to retain my dignity. I decide to ask if we can talk later on the phone cuz I want to know where hes at and if we should just call it quits. Giving him compliments will not only boost his fiery ego and fill his . He initiated the texting and phone calls. Why do you say time will help you fall out of interest? If he never texts back then that silent treatment is your slap in the face to move the hell on. He sent me numerous messages and even had his girlfriend ( who use to be a friend) ask me why I quit talking to him. I know how deep your . By Friday evening, I sensed something was up, so I phoned him and left a single message, really neutral just indicating I hadnt heard ROM him, etc. Ethnic background did ask me, how far I had gone with my ex and I was completely honest about it. The men there are and on Dating sites (which are all men too by the way)- only have 1 objective: sex with women. Lessons in Gratitude: The 3 Levels in Healthy Relationships, The Secret for Dealing with Difficult In-Laws, 3 Texts To Send A Guy To Make Him Miss You Like Crazy. Just as I started to allow myself to fall for him, he began to lessen up on the contact and would take hours (if not days) to respond to a text message. I am going through it now. I decided to ask if he wanted to hang out. This is THE BEST reply Ive ever seen so far of anything Ive ever read or researched on this subject. ? well I know I should leave it.. not text- au revoir etc. Theyre not the right guy for you, thats all. Its not like we went out for one date or even two. So I doubt I will hear from him again. Anyway, its my second time being ghosted. Then I got scared and I closed myself telling him Whatsapp is not the right way to talk about that and that wasnt the right moment eather. I really regret that I forgave him the first time he did it. I have blocked him from all social media just so I dont check up on him. I am guessing me spending the night was too real for him and he got freaked out or after seeing the real me he just changed his feelings and didnt know how to tell me. (Yet my profile was crystal clear that was why I was there online). People should treat others as they want. i spent the last few days crying and devastated and thinking up messages/emails to send him. But to keep viewing my profile thats fd up. Three weeks go by, still havent heard from him, and he finally calls me, but at 330am, sorry but Im asleep. If he succeeds at convincing you that hes your best chance as no other guy would ever love you, then hell secure himself a place next to you. But, Im still not use to it and it worries me every time. Cause it just aint working out, Im sorry it just aint gonna work out I just need closure! You never really praised him! I started to let my guard down and he made me feel so comfortable and so loved and we had so much fun. If you deeply cared about someone and wanted to be with him and cared about their feelings being hurt, you would not ignore them. Like y introduce me to your childhood friends and colleagues and then disappear without a trace after 4 months? 2.hes just not that into you meaning he is above your league. Then recently he deleted his Facebook page which I think is so weird cause I never contact him on there since we both dont use it that much. We are both also in our forties (See post below), and both insisted we didnt want to play games, we fell for each other quickly, and I have to believe that he must have felt something, but now I feel like I have been played at some stage or to some degree. I met this guy online and went out with him for almost 3 months. I'm so confused. And trust me, thats something his possessive mind cant accept. Trying very hard not to text him and tell him off and guess it didnt work out glad we met. Im so confused and stress with this situation. It sounds like it was a supportive situation for a while at least and maybe thats just what you needed! You must be one of the lucky minority who can tread lightly and be able to disengage relatively easily. I deactivated my own Facebook account for a while. He replies that he cant and hes sorry. I spent the night again. I told him friends wont work, why dont I just give you space for like a week then well reconnect and see where things stand. Interpersonal attraction, which is the strength of emotions of love and how we feel for the other person, has dimmed because of a lack of similarity. The first week of Next month if it was okay with me and I said yeah, but I am there for work tjah week so Ill see him It was a painful ordeal nonetheless it was quite a learning experience. Hi, Im getting worried. Love me! He had flaws but I love him for those imperfections. I asked him severally if he didnt want to be me. I didnt know that message because it happened that I deleted my account on whatsapp so when we got the chance to text each other thru bbm, thats the only time i read that message after 8 days. Dont reach out again. I went to his Facebook page and he follows many pages of porn looking women. Buh-bye, boy! she was a 9 when i met her now shes a 6 at most im noticing physical details i dont like and i realize this is because my attraction to her personality is slipping. If he doesnt hear from you adequately and decisively he will continue to walk away. Your ex tells you directly he's missing you. 1: because he is married and Ive never initiated contact, he always did. Ummm, wow. At this point, I felt like a child being given an empty promise just to keep me quiet so I told him, its hard to communicate in Text messages and some things were better said in person. He changed, he became mega flirty & wanting to always hang out, making plans to go on holiday, camping etc. He grabbed my face and told me he was so sorry for .everything. Why would you give money to someone you dont know? Not. He must know that you can clearly tell whats going on and you wont tolerate his behavior. For the first time in 4 mos he didnt reply back quickly and it was because his mom was sick. He knew I recently had lost a close family member so I was a bit depressed, he even commented it I dont if my sad mood made him awkward or something. But these guys are in their mid 30s and 40s. I always told him as he requested thinking I was doing the right thing. I told them to favor and leave a message first then we chat awhile, the if thats good we exchange phone numbers. i didnt ask for a cent to repay. INTEGRITY IS NOT ALWAYS THE COMFORTABLE CHOICE, BUT ITS THE RIGHT CHOICE. I called and texted and he never responded. First date went really well, went out to eat and then went to sit by the lake. He never answered back. I was just hoping for a short response, even if he says that he loses interest in me itll hurt but atleast I dont have to wait for him anymore. We got along so well, but 4 months later, after a misunderstanding he asked for a 6 week break.This was the hardest thing I had been through for a long time, wondering. I realized it is all about his need to feel in control that he can take it or leave it. He told me personal financial information because he said he sensed this thing we had was headed somewhere serious. Its been 3 months plus now, do you think time healed you? It will get better! I dont understand why they would leave it open like this. Have you contacted him again? After two weeks, I sent him a message asking how he was (I didnt bring up the fact that he hasnt replied to my previous email) still no reply. [repeat], Dont want you to be sad girl Its just not a good feeling. So I replied telling him to hit the road! I dont think it makes us look weak, besides what does the guy care? Youd probably want to get it out of your hands ASAP, right?! Sorry I had to be so blunt but during heartbreak we seem to be deaf, blind and somewhat insane. (I initiated) the date or hang out went amazingly well. So the day after we meet at 3pm and the time flew so fast we ended up staying lunch dinner and after lunch togheter (we said good bye at 4am in the morning!) but her conversation skills were HORRIBLE. Men use to be men from what I remember about 15 years ago. Day Two: You decide to reach out to him. We have been talking each single day of this month but he is so busy during the week because of the job and we dont text so much during the week, but at least we arrange dates, ask about others days and he says me good night/morning. I just did that failed to initiate honest conversationand the end came fast and rather painfully. Who HAVE declared love? Natasha, Get your head out of the sand, text or call that fool if you really want him back, or dump him now. I actually only got a couple to talk to me again, and it was cause they initiated sex. If you are still interested in him if he texts you again, don't text him more than he texts you. the thing is, i know i deserve more and i know i dont like him that much anymore because of what he did but to be treated this way just hurts on a deep level. Let him ask you some questions, have a little light conversation and then share your thoughts with him. The texting from morning to night every day, and texting about mundane things certainly indicates that. Its still fresh and I feel sore and confused. Her first fiction book " The Last First Date " has been published by Harper Collins and her non-fiction book " Do This Not That " (Simon & Schuster) is due for publication in early 2023. I can only take solace in the fact that well all be ok in the long run im sure. I wont wait again. I have been dating a guy for 6 months, we met online, hes a truck driver. Blame it all on women because you dont like the state of things. Hes not an idiot so I cant believe he would think Im still going but I feel its something I should do. This is really great advice for dealing with the facts and the damage. Mat Boggs is known by many as one of the worlds leading experts in the areas of love and relationships. I ask myself from time to time Am I doing the right thing by not reaching out? At the same time, I know I did nothing wrong and he was a complete coward to not come forward and tell me he wasnt interested anymore In a way, it was his wrong and I dont need to sorry about anything. We wanted to talk about getting exclusive and I was a little bit pushy and impatient about it. But take a positive, proactive approach to dating and find out the things you can do to keep a great guy and he will love you for it. Once the letter is done, burn it or throw it out. I had just got out of a serious relationship and didnt want anything serious. Danielles avoid list: It would be nice to have an explanation, but I doubt Ill get one. He made me feel so special and told They disappear without even sending a text and they leave you waiting for them to come back. Then the guy ran away like he was on fire. Arrff cant I be the exception. I only stayed for 20 minuets or so before leaving again and I was surprised by what he looked like. We were talking everyday, he met my kids and we finally made it official. Since I knew that he is married with two sons and I do not want any troubles, I declined when he offered to meet in real. It really hurts. I felt an immediate spark when we met and he asked me out soon after that. Sorry its long and confusing but I tried to give as much information as possible. Quit texting. If he disappears, it's because he isn't the right guy for you. So if the guy thinks and behaves like you, what do you think the girl who cares about him should do to change his mind? I had a man propose to me too then ghosted on me. Your ex asks you to hang out. I fell in love and planned a trip back there this summer. 2. He didnt. Im not going to be the person he can message at 7pm when work is done just so he has something to do. That was a red flag to me, if youve been physical with someone and they have something else to do. Hi folks Hes such a shit! I was inconsolable because if dating me was too consuming with work, why would he be looking for something new? I am a female and I met my disappearing man in Feb 2016, he flirted and flattered me and as I was single saw no harm in becoming FB friends. etc. Anyway back to the last drink service I asked him to dance but he replied he couldnt since he was working but would on his day off. The first time he did this was after we got intimate. Im sorry youre hurting, but realise that hes just not that into you to take care of youre emotions and perspective. No need to have the conversation on what you both want again, that stage is over and you dont need to sound like a broken nagging record. All men are bastards who Always cheat and abandon. We talked on the phone for almost 3 hours and there was so much chemistry there. It just bothers me so much that he hasnt said NOTHING to me. There are people out there who dont care about anyone except themselves, people who are cold and cruel, and this guy sounds like one of them. Let me remind you of the #1 ultimate truth about courtship when you actually meet Mr. Im hurting everyday though, But im realizing this situation aint getting any better. Im sitting here laughing my ass off as to how cray-cray Ive been acting I literally did everything the quiz results advise not to do! When he disappears, he's telling you he's one or all of the following: He's not mature. When a guy disappears for days, maybe he involved with something and can't tell you right away or he just busy with all of his stuff. His fickelness so early is a bad sign. Last sentence: We are looking forward to meeting the new you and having a wonderful relationship with you. It completely devastated me because this is not the man that I knew. First date went really well and we agreed to see each other the day after. Never married either of us, no kids. then we talk on whatsapp till he asked me to visit him . Second date went well as well. I texted to ask how his day was and he just said ok. He asked him if he was alright because he seemed off. Seriously. I wonder if hes afraid of caring to much about me and getting hurt again or maybe I scared him when I asked him this quesrion. I was so good to him and we were just fine. The broken promises of I will be back in a few weeks from work and it changes to months and months. Also this idea that my ex conditioned me is just bullsh!t. 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