"I will show you the answer now children," says the teacher as he looks pretty chuffed with himself. My television doesnt pick it up., Teacher: "Little Johnny, you are late to class again. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? However, we have an origin theory of our own. Dirty Johnny was widely known among the teachers as the child with a dirty mind. "Johnny: "Oh, I just remembered he got reposted to Goa. When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. ", Teacher: "Now class, stop acting silly and start behaving, god is everywhere you know.". Today she asked us again! Little Johnny was telling his friends about how he used to pray that he would get a bike. His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. We told her it was four. "Little Johnny, "Dear God. What about Mrs. Little johnny said that his father is a magician. ", Little Johnny asked his grandpa to croak like a frog. It writhed painfully and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. Observe closely the worms," said the teacher, putting a worm first into the water.The worm in the water wiggled about, happy as a worm in water could be. Let's have a look at the list of the best little Johnny jokes! Top 50 Jokes about Little Johnny Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. A son tells his father: "I have an imaginary girlfriend.". ", Teacher: "Does anybody know what we call a person who keeps talking when nobody else is interested? Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!, Teacher: "If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? he should pray the food dosnt kill him. . "Can you repeat it for the class and tell us how he used it in a sentence? Teacher: "What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red." Johnny: "Yes, it is very strange. Of course not, Johnny! Little johnny says i wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best girl with me, give her a ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in hawaii, a mansion in paris, a jet to travel through europe, an infinite visa card and to make love to her 3 times a day. In seconds my dad was a hundred yards away at the bottom of the hill. Do you really expect me to believe that? ", Little Johnny asks his mother for $20. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral., My family members "passed away" so many times in high school , Little Johnny wonders why his dad is bald. But the original fairy tales always end with blood shed. She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby if I can, and I think I can. 63. Johnny said, Oh no, hes not a detective. "Johnny: "Is god in my back garden? 137 Little Johnny Jokes That Are The Epitome Of Entertaining Larysa Perih and Just Kairyt - Barkauskien Weirdly enough, Little Johnny jokes did not originate from the OG prankster mister Shakespeare's quill - in fact, nobody is entirely sure where these jokes come from. ", So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?I dont really want to talk about it, mom. ", The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. Daisy: Why do you have two different colored socks on? "Now, class. Or maybe not so innocent, but just seems like it. "Johnny: "But miss, you said that it is never too late to learn. The Adelaide . Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's! We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Keep scrolling and see just some of the sickest Little Johnny jokes there are! Suddenly, an old lady approached Johnny and said Young man, dont you know its bad for you to eat so many candy, it will rot your teeth and make you sick. "Teacher: "Correct!". "And what do you have to be to go there?" He Replies: Don't worry, teacher, your feet are too big, Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?Hes as old as me, Johnny informs her.Now how would that be possible? inquires the surprised teacher.Well he became father the day I was born., At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." "Little Johnny: "Me! "Teacher (surprised): "Why not? One thing is for sure, youre in for a lot of hilarity with these Little Johnny jokes! ", The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months. This thread is archived . Mommy, why is dad bald?. ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!, Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. Me?, Little Johnny was sitting on the pavement stuffing all of his Halloween candy into his mouth. "You didn't steal it, did you?" "No!" said Jimmy. Little johnny said that his father is a magician. Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?, Teacher: "Who can tell me where Hadrians' Wall is? "Little Johnny: "That's not fair you answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one! The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. Little Johnny Jokes Why was Little Johnny crying? 58 reviews of The Hotel Fresno "We've arrived to this hotel around 2am, really tired, as one of the last option locally to find a room to sleep. (I'm not an expert, don't worry), Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. Little Johnny says, "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. "Little Johnny: "I tried, but there was someone already there! She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says "Johnny when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." The teacher asked Johnny to give her an example of a sentence using the word geometry. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On, 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, "Can't Approve Overtime? You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." You need to hide, grandpa. "Little Johnny: "About 8 kilometers miss. what is it?" she asked. - Suggested read: Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. So Little Johnny hauled ass for the door. Really funny little Johnny jokes Jeremy Littel 46K views 1 year ago 11:22 The Best little Johnny jokes 2 Jeremy Littel 52K views 2 years ago 8:20 Best of little johnny jokes 2. Son: "Thanks Dad!". Hes a burglar., Ok NOW the detective one makes sense. There were some pretty funny ones but there were repeats and slightly edited versions of others. He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out., Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately. "Little Johnny: "Alaska! A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? At times, however, circumstances forced their hand. Principal: "What is 3 x 3. ", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? ", Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?, Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, Ive lost my dad!, Teacher: "If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get?". "Come on mom, the most important thing is that Im healthy! Wanna hear it? Johnny asked. Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland? The next week, the guy picks her up for their evening out dressed in a biker's black leathers. Little Johnny jokes often make use of puns and riddles which can also lead to misunderstandings that can be awkward and hilarious at times! ", The teacher says, Im glad to see your writing has improved.Little Johnny grins and replies, Thank you!Frowning, the teacher adds, However, now I can see how bad your spelling is!, Me .. and better at spelling than writing now tho, Little Johnny wrote: "Dear Santa, please send me a baby brother! 1. ", A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a babysitter. Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!Little Johnny: Who, me?Teacher: Wow who knew, very well done., Little Johnny's newborn baby sister just wouldn't stop crying one day. fisherman's friends net worth; thomas edison light bulb impact on society; how to add someone on snapchat without it saying added by search; why does jailatm need my social security number Johnny said, well, he likes to cut people in half. Rolly Burrell said they employ dirty tricks. ", When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, Little Johnny said, A detective. Little Johnny's mother was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. "The friend asks: "And where is your sister? 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Little Johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. You dont even know what it means. I do. said Johnny. When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten. "Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny? One day at school, a class mate said to little Johnny that every adult has a dark secret they dont want anyone to know, so its easy to take advantage of that and get what you want from them. Reminds of the old joke about the mother with 6 kids. A pastor was chatting with some children about 'being good' and going to Heaven. "No way," Johnny answered hastily. 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Johnny replied, Thats easy. 4. Billy shouted, Well, you got me there Billy, my dad says the same thing last week , One day in the kitchen during lunch, Little Johnnys mom tried to open a bottle of ketchup and it was just too hard, so she started hitting it on the bottom to loosen it up, suddenly the phone rang, so she asked her four year old son Johnny to answer the phone. Johnny says: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. "Little Johnny: "A teacher, miss. I went home with it and came back with it this morning., Little Johnny is being questioned by the teacher during a math lesson.If you had ten dollars, asks the teacher, and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?Ten, answers Little Johnny.Ten? the teacher asks. Its weird. '", Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused. Click here to view. Thats right Johnny, but you still counted your fingers behind your back, lets try this again, but this time put your hands in your pockets and tell me whats five plus five? Little Johnny spoke into the phone saying, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!. So that's why teachers can be b*tchy some daysthey have 7 holes up theirs. Is god in these trees here Johnny asked again. Welcome to my page the official page of jeremy littel. Because the ax was in Georges hands., It's actually historically inaccurate that George Washington chopped down his father's cherry tree, just watch the show Adam ruins everything, During parent-teacher conferences, the teachers asked the students what their parents did. ", Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?Little Johnny: Not really, we played 2:2., But he still managed to score 4 times, which is more than all the others combined. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. ", Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? "Little Johnny's hand shot up and the firefighter called on him.Little Johnny replied: "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready! Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. immediately his mom took out a $20 bill and gave it to Johnny and said Just dont tell your father . Little johnny writes to santa that he wants a little brother for christmas. 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